JOKE OF THE DAY 20 Nov 2009

Don't You Just Hate it When...
... You have to try on a pair of
sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
... The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back
of your ankle. ... The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets
on. ... There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down
to find an address. ... You open a can of soup, and the lid falls in.
... It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't
realize it till you walk across your living room rug. ... There's a
dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING. ... You can never
put anything back in a box the way it came. ... Three hours and three
meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of
parsley stuck to your front tooth. ... Your tire gauge lets out half
the air while you're trying to get a reading!
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
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JOKE OF THE DAY 19 Nov 2009

Medical Truths Noted at an Area Hospital

~ The patient furthest away
from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient
nearest to the nurses' station. ~ You always remember "just one more
thing" you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into
that isolation room. ~ The correct depth of compression in adult CPR
is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.
~ When you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed
a rash of admissions. ~ If you wear a new white uniform, expect to be
thrown up on. ~ There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
~ When management smiles at you, be afraid, very afraid ... ~
Staffing will gladly send you three aides--but you have to float two of
your RNs. ~ As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will
be ordered. ~ Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had
the night from hell and just want to go home to bed. ~ You always forget
what it was you wanted after you
get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the
other end ... ~ Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't
doing well. ~ Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs
when the boss is watching. ~ The more sophisticated the equipment, the
longer it takes to get repaired. ~ Experience is something you don't
get until just after you need it. ~ As soon as you've ordered the
pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three
ambulances all with cardiac arrests!
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 17 Nov 2009

From the Medical Glossary of Dr. Ignoramus Artery
The study of paintings Bacteria
The back door of a cafeteria Barium
What doctors do when patients die Bowel
A letter like A, E, I, O, or U Caesarean Section
A neighborhood in Rome CAT Scan
Searching for Kitty Cauterize
Made eye contact with her Colic
A sheep dog D & C
Where Washington is Dilate
To live long Enema
Not a friend Fester
Quicker Genital
Not Jewish G.I. Series
A soldier's ball game Hangnail
A coat hook Impotent
Distinguished, well known Labor Pain
Getting hurt at work Medical Staff
A doctor's cane Morbid
A higher offer Nitrates
Cheaper than day rates Node
Was aware of Outpatient
A person who fainted Pap Smear
A parenthood test Pelvis
Post-operative
A letter carrier Recovery Room
A place to do upholstery Rectum
A Roman emperor Tablet
A small table Terminal Illness
Getting sick at a computer Tumor
More than one Urine
Opposite of "You're out" Varicose
Nearby Vein
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 17 Nov 2009

From the Medical Glossary of Dr. Ignoramus Artery
The study of paintings Bacteria
The back door of a cafeteria Barium
What doctors do when patients die Bowel
A letter like A, E, I, O, or U Caesarean Section
A neighborhood in Rome CAT Scan
Searching for Kitty Cauterize
Made eye contact with her Colic
A sheep dog D & C
Where Washington is Dilate
To live long Enema
Not a friend Fester
Quicker Genital
Not Jewish G.I. Series
A soldier's ball game Hangnail
A coat hook Impotent
Distinguished, well known Labor Pain
Getting hurt at work Medical Staff
A doctor's cane Morbid
A higher offer Nitrates
Cheaper than day rates Node
Was aware of Outpatient
A person who fainted Pap Smear
A parenthood test Pelvis
Post-operative
A letter carrier Recovery Room
A place to do upholstery Rectum
A Roman emperor Tablet
A small table Terminal Illness
Getting sick at a computer Tumor
More than one Urine
Opposite of "You're out" Varicose
Nearby Vein
------------------------------------------------------------------
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 16 Nov 2009

Help the Less Fortunate

It's just not right. Thousands of corporate CEOs in our very own country
are living at or just below the seven-figure salary line. And if that
wasn't bad enough, many of them may go several weeks without a paycheck
if they are forced by the government to comply with the new strict
regulations related to the Federal Bailout.

But now you can help. For about three thousand dollars a day (that's
less than the price of a 60" plasma television set) you can help keep a
CEO economically viable during their time of need.

Three thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you,
but to a CEO it could mean the difference between a vacation weekend
fishing in Florida or a 14-day Mediteranean cruise.

For you, three thousand dollars is nothing more than a couple of months
rent or a mortgage payment. But to a CEO, three thousand dollars a day
will almost replace his or her salary.

Three thousand dollars a day will enable a CEO to upgrade his or her
home computer, buy that new 180" high-definition projector for the media
room, trade in the 6 month old Lexus for a Ferrari, or enjoy a dinner
(with champagne) at Tavern on the Green in Central Park.
if you do NOT
want to make a Donation! "HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?" Each
month, you will receive a complete financial report on the CEO you
sponsor. Detailed information about his or her stocks, bonds, 401K,
and real-estate holdings will be mailed to your home. You will be able
to watch your CEO's net worth grow. You'll also get information on how
they chose to invest their 12.2 million dollar lump sum they get upon
their retirement. "HOW WILL THEY KNOW I'M HELPING?" Your CEO will
be told that he or she has a SPECIAL FRIEND that just wants to help.
Although the CEO won't know your name, he or she will be able to make
collect calls to your home via a special operator in case they need more
funds.

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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