Joke of The Day

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
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JOKE OF THE DAY 2 Aug 2007

----------------------------------------
Stupid People Stories
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WHERE CAN I GET A JOB LIKE THAT?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.

Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS!

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear
gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside
them, shouting out to give himself up.

WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The
kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank account.

SOME DAYS, IT JUST DOESN'T PAY!

Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that
destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly
installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last
year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole
my new security system..."

THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop and asked for all the money
in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up and grabbed him.

DO-IT-YOURSELF BRAIN SURGERY??

In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police
station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked
officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he
claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had
drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power
drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.

DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man
in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll
shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

OUCH, THAT SMARTS!!

A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack
designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The
robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was
running out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping around with an
explosion taking place inside his pants," said police spokesman Mike
Carey. Police have the man's charred trousers in custody.

ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER!!

In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a
Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger
to simulate a gun but unfortunately he failed to keep his hand in his
pocket.

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @

Conexant E-mail Firewall (Conexant.Com) made the following annotations---------------------------------------------------------------------********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************

"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."

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JOKE OF THE DAY 1 Aug 2007

Aren't you Moses?

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing
white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair.

The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other
arm. George W. approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses?" The
man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling.

George W. positioned himself more directly in the man's view and asked
again, "Aren't you Moses?" The man continued to peruse the ceiling.
George W. tugged at the man's sleeve and asked once again, "Aren't you
Moses?"

The man finally responded in an irritated voice, "YES, I AM!"

George W. asked him why he was so uppity and had taken so long to answer
him.

The man replied, "The last time I spoke to a Bush I ended up stuck in a
desert for forty years!

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @

Conexant E-mail Firewall (Conexant.Com) made the following annotations---------------------------------------------------------------------********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************

"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."

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JOKE OF THE DAY 31 Jul 2007

----------------------------------------
Blonde Carpenters
----------------------------------------

Two blonde carpenters were working on a house. One blonde was on a
ladder nailing. She'd reach into her nail pouch, look at it, and either
toss it over her shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.

The other blonde noticed what she was doing and yelled up, "Why are you
throwing some of the nails away?"

The first blonde explained, "When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if
it's pointed toward me I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the
house, then I can use it!"

The second blonde got really excited and called her all kinds of names,
explaining, "Don't throw away those nails that are pointed toward you!
They for the other side of the house!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @

Conexant E-mail Firewall (Conexant.Com) made the following annotations---------------------------------------------------------------------********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************

"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."

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JOKE OF THE DAY 30 Jul 2007

The Warning Signs

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground,
Miss Smith stopped to gently reprove the child...

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a
child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would
stay like that."

Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Miss Smith, you can't say you
weren't warned!"

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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @