Thursday, August 16, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 17 Aug 2007

New Golfer
----------------------------------------

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd
try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he
knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball
toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and
onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.

"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.

After he was able to speak again the pro finally said, "Uh . . . you're
supposed to hit the ball into the cup."

"Oh great! NOW you tell me," said the beginner in a disgusted tone.

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 16 Aug 2007

A Doctor and a Lawyer

After dozens of very expensive tests and weeks of hospitalization, the
rich old man was told he had only 24 hours to live.

He immediately called his doctor and his lawyer to his room. He asked
the doctor to stand by one side of his bed and his lawyer to stand by
the other.

After standing for some time, the doctor asked "What do you want me to
do?" "Nothing. Just stand there."

A while later, the lawyer asked "What do you want me to do?" "Nothing.
Just stand there."

As the hours wore on, the doctor and the lawyer watched the man weaken.
When his time had almost arrived, the doctor and the lawyer again asked
"Why are we standing here?"

"Well," said the old man, "Christ died between two thieves, so I thought
I'd do the same!


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WORTH READING
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answers.

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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 14 Aug 2007

Super Granny!
----------------------------------------

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found
four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping
bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of
her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car
you scumbags !"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran
like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her
shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She
tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she
found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The
sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with
laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale
white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman
described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair
carrying a large handgun.

<Happy Independence Day 15 Aug 2007, 60th year of Independence\>
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But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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WORTH READING
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Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

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18++
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Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
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Monday, August 13, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 13 Aug 2007

Nice Tip!
----------------------------------------

A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the
stage.

He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a
mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome
tip."

The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a
quarter.

The usher looks at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The wife did
it."


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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
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18++
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Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

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