JOKE OF THE DAY 19 Nov 2009

Medical Truths Noted at an Area Hospital

~ The patient furthest away
from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient
nearest to the nurses' station. ~ You always remember "just one more
thing" you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into
that isolation room. ~ The correct depth of compression in adult CPR
is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.
~ When you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed
a rash of admissions. ~ If you wear a new white uniform, expect to be
thrown up on. ~ There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
~ When management smiles at you, be afraid, very afraid ... ~
Staffing will gladly send you three aides--but you have to float two of
your RNs. ~ As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will
be ordered. ~ Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had
the night from hell and just want to go home to bed. ~ You always forget
what it was you wanted after you
get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the
other end ... ~ Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't
doing well. ~ Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs
when the boss is watching. ~ The more sophisticated the equipment, the
longer it takes to get repaired. ~ Experience is something you don't
get until just after you need it. ~ As soon as you've ordered the
pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three
ambulances all with cardiac arrests!
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