JOKE OF THE DAY 5 Jan 2010

If You Love Someone...

"The Old Version" If you
love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was.... Now for some New Versions --

Pessimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

Optimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within a day
forget her.

Patient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait
until she comes back ...

Playful:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
* If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat *

Vengeful:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she doesn't come back,
Post nasty videos of her

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!

Lawyers:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the
Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

Schwarzenegger Fan:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over Possessive:
If you love somebody
don't set her free.

HR Specialist:
If you love somebody
set her free
By Offering her VRS and other benefits
Then outsource her.

Bill Gates :
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist :
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
She'll evolve.

Statistician :
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

MBA:
If you love somebody
set her free...
instantaneously...
and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy

Somnabulist:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

Rhett Butler:
If you love somebody
set YOURSELF FREE
If she asks you why
say you don't give a damn.

ERP Functional Expert:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis

Finance Expert:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans.
If she doesn't, write her off as a Bad Asset

Marketing Expert:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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Or simply go Blogging @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 4 Jan 2010

My Mother Taught Me

My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store
with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to
me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your father!"

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING...
"You are going to get it when we get home."

And my all time favorite thing--JUSTICE
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU.. then
you'll see what it's like."

In between all this, my Mother taught me how to Live!
Thank you Mom for all I have learned these years.

------------------------------------------------------------------
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SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE FOR THIS MAILING LIST @
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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/