Thursday, August 25, 2005

JOKE OF THE DAY 26 Aug 2005

Pauly, on vacation in England, took a tourbus to go to Runnymede. When
they got there, the tourists gathered around the guide who said, "This
is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta."

Pauly pushed his way to the front of the crowd and asked, "When did
that happen?"

"1215," answered the guide.

Pauly looked at his watch and said, "Shoot! We just missed it by a half
hour!"

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

JOKE OF THE DAY 25 Aug 2005

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn
upside down."

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after
heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights --"For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly."

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Monday, August 22, 2005

JOKE OF THE DAY 23 Aug 2005

<http://www.softlab.ece.ntua.gr/~sivann/pub/swf/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.
swf>

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answers.

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Sunday, August 21, 2005

JOKE OF THE DAY 22 Aug 2005

A group of Americans was traveling by tour bus through Holland seeing
the many sights.

As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through a
process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.

She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing.

These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they
no longer produced. She then asked,

"What do you do in America with your older goats?"

A spry old gentleman in the group answered,

"They send us on bus tours."

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WORTH READING
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Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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