Thursday, January 08, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 9 Jan 2009

Crooked Questions
 
1) Can you cry under water? 2) How important does a
person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of
just murdered? 3) Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat
often round? 4) Why do you have to "put your two cents in "... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to? 5) Once you're in heaven, do you
get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? 6) Why
does a round pizza come in a square box? 7) What did 'cured' ham
actually have? 8) How is it that we put a man on the
moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on
luggage? 9) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when
babies wake up every two hours and cry? 10) If a deaf person has to go
to court, is it still called a hearing? 11) Why are you IN a movie,
but you're ON TV? 12) Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 
13) How come we choose
from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? 14) Why
do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway. 15) If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does
he/she call? 16) Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 9 Jan 2009

Crooked Questions
 
1) Can you cry under water? 2) How important does a
person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of
just murdered? 3) Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat
often round? 4) Why do you have to "put your two cents in "... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to? 5) Once you're in heaven, do you
get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? 6) Why
does a round pizza come in a square box? 7) What did 'cured' ham
actually have? 8) How is it that we put a man on the
moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on
luggage? 9) Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when
babies wake up every two hours and cry? 10) If a deaf person has to go
to court, is it still called a hearing? 11) Why are you IN a movie,
but you're ON TV? 12) Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 
13) How come we choose
from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? 14) Why
do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway. 15) If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does
he/she call? 16) Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

------------------------------------------------------------------
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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 8 Jan 2009

 Clean Dishes
A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners.
When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the
dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever
cleaned?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and
grime. She replied, "Of course they were cleaned, Father. They're as
clean as soap and water could get them." He felt a bit apprehensive,
but blessed the food anyway and they all started eating. The meal was
delicious and he paid his compliments in spite of the dirty dishes.
When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled:
"Here Soap! Here Water!"
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 7 Jan 2009

 Secular Wisdom
The professor of a Graduate School class of gifted
students included a huge amount of material on the midterm exam.
Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they
realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall.
The following week the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk
and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to
me. He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those
people in years!'"
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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Monday, January 05, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 6 Jan 2009

 His Last 3 Wishes
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak
about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died,
Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,'
he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes.
After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed.
Then, I can rest in peace'." "What was in the envelopes?" her friends
asked. "The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use
this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany
casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very
comfortably." "The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for a nice funeral
'I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite
foods for everyone attending." "And the third envelope?" asked her
friends. "The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, 'Please
use this to buy a nice stone.'" Holding her hand in the air, Tillie
said... "So, do you like my stone?" showing off her 10-carat diamond
ring.
------------------------------------------------------------------
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @   
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Sunday, January 04, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 5 Jan 2008

 Sunday School
The Sunday school teacher asked, "How many of you children would like to go
to Heaven?" All raised their hands except little Ronnie. The teacher
asked him why not. "I'm sorry," Ronnie replied. "Mommy told me to
come right home after Sunday school."
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @   
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