JOKE OF THE DAY 4 Feb 2005

When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly,
she asked me to bring her a few items from home.
One item on her list was "comfortable underwear."

Worried I'd make the wrong choice, I asked, "How will
I know which ones to pick?"

"Hold them up and imagine them on me," she answered.
"If you smile, put them back."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY 4 Feb 2005

Man's main task is to give birth to himself.
-- Erich Fromm

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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
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18++
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JOKE OF THE DAY 3 Feb 2005

NICORETTE GUM

When I worked as a pharmacy intern, Nicorette gum had just become
available to help smokers kick the habit. Our store underestimated the
popularity of the gum, however, and one day we ran out of it. At
closing time that evening, a woman came in and handed the pharmacist a
prescription for norethindrone -- birth control pills. Having seen so
many prescriptions that day for Nicorette, he mistakenly told the woman
that he would not have it in for several days. "Well, now what am I
supposed to do?" the woman complained.

My boss replied, "Have you ever thought of quitting cold-turkey?"

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WORTH READING
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY 3 Feb 2005

Because of a bad case of hemorrhoids, the gay man went
to his doctor. The physician prescribed suppositories, but
when it came time to use them, the young man was afraid
he would do it wrong. So he went into the bathroom and,
bending over, looked through his legs into the mirror to
line up the target. All of a sudden, his penis became stiff
and blocked his view.
"Oh, stop it," the young man scolded his organ, "it's only me!"

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
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JOKE OF THE DAY 2 Feb 2005

LAST WORDS OF WISDOM

The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The
nuns gathered around her bed. She asked for
a little warm milk to sip so a nun went to the
kitchen to warm some milk. Remembering a
bottle of whiskey received as a gift the previous
Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous
amount into the warm milk.

Mother drank a little, then a little more, then before
they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down
to the last drop. "Mother, Mother" the nuns cried,
"Give us some wisdom before you die!"

She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on
her face, and pointing out the window she said,
"Don't sell that cow!

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WORTH READING
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY 2 Feb 2005

What makes something special is not just what you have to gain, but
what you feel there is to lose.
-- Andre Agassi, on "Charlie Rose"

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

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WORTH READING
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18++
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JOKE OF THE DAY 1 Feb 2005

SIGNS THAT MAY LEAD TO MISUNDERSTANDING.

OR, MAY NOT!



In a restroom:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW



In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR

CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT

GOES OUT



In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS



In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY

PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR

FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN



In another office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND

STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE

DRAINING BOARD



Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES,

ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR

WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?



Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS



Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR (WHO?)



Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,

THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE

1ST FLOOR



< STRONG>Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR

FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.



Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW

TO GET LESSONS



On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE

DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T

WORK)




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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY 1 Feb 2005

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to
find easier ways to do something.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love

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JOKE OF THE DAY
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As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive. Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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18++
----
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JOKE OF THE DAY 31 Jan 2005

A Lightning-Fast Driver?

Bob was demoaning his wife's driving ineptitude to his buddy,
Theodore.

At one point Bob noted, "My wife drives like lightning."

Teddy replied, "She drives fast?"

"No," said Bob, "She hits trees!"

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WORTH READING
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Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY 31 Jan 2005

If we are to achieve results never before accomplished, we must
expect to employ methods never before attempted.
-Francis Bacon

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JOKE OF THE DAY
----------------
As wise men say, a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So step into the
health zone by sharing a hearty laugh. A variety of jokes that are
ludicrous and trivial, witty and wacky, spontaneous and sportive.
Wishing you a laugh riot.

Join the Joke of the Day mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/



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