JOKE OF THE DAY 2 Sep 2005

One Brainless Co-Worker

The stoplight on the corner near my office buzzes when it is safe to
cross the street...

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine,
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for...

I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red.

She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 1 Sep 2005

A Disabled Worker?

I noticed the neighbor down the street was home every day, so after a
few weeks I asked him what was going on...

He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue."

A few days later his wife gave me the real truth of what happened.
Turns out my neighbor's boss got sick and tired of him.

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++
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JOKE OF THE DAY 31 Aug 2005

"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says
to his client.

"Oh, geez! Okay, let's get it over with. What's the bad
news?"

The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the
murder scene."

"No!" cries the client. "What could possibly be the good
news then?"

"Well," the lawyer says, "your cholesterol is down to 140!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
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18++
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JOKE OF THE DAY 30 Aug 2005

A Politically-Correct Birthday Greeting

At last--Today's your Special(1) Day!
The World(2) all stops to shout hooray(3)!
We(4) wish you peace and joy and fun
Today you're the exalted(5) one.

Footnotes:
1. Except where this day is a holiday celebrated by other cultures,
or others whose birthday should fall on this day, respecting the
effect of the International Dateline.

2. Or, more properly, the portion of the world immediately
surrounding you, which may differ significantly in any way from other
cities, towns, or countries, all of which are valid and important in
their own right.

3. Except persons speaking other languages, who may shout whatever
version of "hooray" their specific culture supports.

4. "We" being any who consent to such a wish, not including persons
of differing viewpoints who may dissent.

5. Not to imply others may be any less exalted, either today, or on
their own birthdays, or any day of their choosing.

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
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18++
----
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could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 29 Aug 2005

Top Ten Advantages of Being a Temp

10. Eight Words: "It was like that when I got here."

9. You can try on a different personality at each new job site.

8. You're only lending your soul, not selling it.

7. You don't have to continually fork over part of your paycheck for
co-workers' weddings, babies, birthdays and anniversaries, or
children's school, scouts, athletic, and band fund-raising efforts.

6. No one gives you clothes emblazoned with the company logo and
then expects you to wear them.

5. You can avoid the internal "war." I once Temp'd at an office so
divided and filled with hate, one half wouldn't even speak with the
other... it was my job to convey messages between the enemy camps.

4. Overtime at time and a half! Woo-Hoo!

3. Leaving at 4:30.

2. You frequently get to hear the phrases, "Good job" and "Please
stay".

And the NUMBER ONE Advantage of being a Temp...

1. You won't be there when the fruits of your labor turn rotten!

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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