Thursday, February 05, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 6 Feb 2009

The Dreaded Call
 
Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the
ringing of my phone. In a sleepy voice, I said hello. The party on
the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing
breathlessly into a lengthy speech. "Mom, this is Susan and I'm sorry
I woke you up, but I had to call because I'm going to be a little late
getting home. See, Dad's car has a flat but it's not my fault.
Honest! I don't know what happened. The tire just went flat while we
were inside the theater. Please don't be mad, okay?" Since I don't
have any daughters, I knew the person had misdialed. "I'm sorry dear,"
I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't have a daughter
named Susan." "Gosh, Mom," came the young woman's voice, "I didn't
think you'd be this mad."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 4 Feb 2008

A Superlative Work-out
 
Some members of a health club were having their
first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I'd like each of
you to give the facts of your daily routine." Several people spoke,
admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight members
said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently."
"Hmm?" said the manager. "And are you sure you having nothing else to
add?" "Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Monday, February 02, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 3 Feb 2009

Observant Child
 
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy,
you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know
that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @   
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Sunday, February 01, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 2 Feb 2009

The Bronze Rat A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San
Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he
discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The
sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the
shop owner what it costs. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the
shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze
rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store,
two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.
Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every
time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him.
By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his
heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and
soon breaks into a trot  as multitudes of rats
swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats
by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the
bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter
how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just
thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the
water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.
Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with
one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the
other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to
the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats
surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and
mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come
back for the rest of the story," says the owner. "No," says the
tourist, "but I was wondering if you have any bronze politicians!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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