JOKE OF THE DAY 28 Aug 2009

Valentine Signatures
depending on your personality.

Clever -- IOUXOXO
Athletic -- How about a little one-on-one?
Cosmic -- Didn't we know each other in another time and place?
Dreamy -- I never believed in love at first sight until you.
Enchantress -- A valentine spell has been cast on you!
Femme Fatale -- You cannot escape. I have ways to make you mine.
Bold -- FACE IT, YOU WANT ME!
Musical -- Always a love song in my heart for you.
No-nonsense -- What are you waiting for?
Old fashioned -- My mother warned me about guys/girls like you.
Sarcastic -- Hey! I signed the card. What else do you want?
Scientific -- The chemistry between us is definitely affirmative.
Self-assured -- Be my Valentine. "NO" is not an option.
Silly -- You're hotter than a jalapeno sandwich on an August noon in
Phoenix!
Stalker -- Be my Valentine. "NO" is not an option.
Wild Child -- You are twisted and slightly dangerous. I like that in a
person.
Worldly-- Je t'aime! (translation from French "I love you")

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 27 Aug 2009

Talking About Others
A young mother was riding the bus with her four year old boy when he
suddenly blurted out so that everyone in the bus could hear, "Look mom,
see that man's nose, it looks soooo funny!" The mother was quite
embarrassed and scolded her son. Then she whispered to him that if there
was something he wanted to say about someone then he had to wait until
they got home or at least where nobody could hear them, so that nobody
would be sad. A moment later the boy blurted out in the same loud
voice, "Look mom, we've got to talk about that big fat lady when we get
home!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
----
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be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 26 Aug 2009

Spelling Checker

I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss stakes aye can knot sea. Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh
My checker tolled me sew. A checker is a bless sing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime. Each frays come posed
up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque some spelling rule. Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We would bee maid to wine. Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear. Now spelling does not phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear. To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are know aloud. Sow ewe can sea
why are dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
----
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be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
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JOKE OF THE DAY 25 Aug 2009

My Parental Observations

~ A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the
morning. ~ A child will not spill on a dirty floor. ~ A young
child is a noise with dirt on it. ~ A youth becomes a man when the
marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires. ~
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. ~ God invented
mothers because he couldn't
be everywhere at once. ~ Having children is like having a bowling
alley installed in your brain. ~ If a child looks like his father,
that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that's environment. ~
Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.
~ If you have trouble getting your children's attention
, just sit down and look
comfortable. ~ It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come
when they'll know as little as their parents. ~ Money isn't
everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. ~ Summer vacation is
a time when parents realize that teachers are underpaid. ~ The first
sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the
left. ~ There would be fewer problems with children if they had to
chop wood to keep the television set going.
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
----
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be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 24 Aug 2009

See Me, Hear Me

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid,
but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he
asked the clerk. "It depends on quality," said the salesman. "They run
from $2.00 to $2,000." "Let's see the $2.00 model," he said. The
clerk put the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button
in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he
instructed. "How does it work?" the customer asked. "For $2.00 it
doesn't work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you,
they'll talk louder!"
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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