Joke of The Day

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
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JOKE OF THE DAY 7 Jun 2007

Men and Women Compared!

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a beer, they will
affectionately refer to each other as LardAss, Butt-Breath, Peanut-Head
and Useless.

EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have
anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man
says after that is the beginning of a new argument!

DRESSING UP: A man will dress up for weddings, funerals. A woman will
dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the
phone, read a book, get the mail.

LOOKS Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night. ( I invite any woman to prove me wrong! :)

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

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Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @

Conexant E-mail Firewall (Conexant.Com) made the following annotations---------------------------------------------------------------------********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************

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JOKE OF THE DAY 6 Jun 2007

Some Horse Sense

A fellow walks into a bar, very down on himself. As he walks up to the
bar the bartender asks, "What's the matter?"

The fellow replies, "Well, I've got these two horses (sniff,sniff)
, and well... I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up
riding times or even feeding them the right foods."

The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of somthing he
can do. "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"

The man stops crying and says, "that sounds like a good idea, I think
I'll try it."

A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he
was before. "What's the matter now?" the bartender asks.

The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail
of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them
apart again!"

The bartender, now just wanting him to shut this fool up says, "Why
don't you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not grow back?"

The fellow stops crying, has a few drinks, and leaves. A few months
later the fellow is back in the bar. The bartender has never seen
anybody in this sorry of a state. Without the bartender even asking, the
fellow breaks into his problems. "I.. I shaved the (sob) mane of one of
the (sniff) horses, and... it... it... grew back!"

The bartenter, now furious at the guy's general stupidity, yells, "For
crying out loud, just measure the stupid horses. Perhaps one is slightly
taller that the other one!" The fellow can not believe what the
bartender has said and storms out of the bar.

The next day the fellow comes running back into the bar as if he had
just won the lottery. "It worked, it worked!" he exclaims. "I measured
the horses and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @

Conexant E-mail Firewall (Conexant.Com) made the following annotations---------------------------------------------------------------------********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************

"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."

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JOKE OF THE DAY 5 Jun 2007

Costume Humor

One Halloween, a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as "Rocky",
wearing boxing gloves and satin shorts.

Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.

"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep several minutes ago?"
I asked.

"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel! I'll be back three more
times tonight."

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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @

Conexant E-mail Firewall (Conexant.Com) made the following annotations---------------------------------------------------------------------********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************

"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."

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JOKE OF THE DAY 4 Jun 2007

A Speeding Ticket

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following
exchange

Officer: May I see your driver's license

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's
card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman
who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK!!

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was
quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to
handle the tense situation

Captain: Sir, can I see your license

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a
gun in it

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk I was told you said there's a
body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you
told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the
glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @