JOKE OF THE DAY 5 Nov 2009

America's Got Talent

A fellow took his talking dog for an audition in front of Simon
Cowell, for the television series America's Got Talent. The dog told
six or seven familiar old jokes, including a couple of jokes using
French and British accents. "What do you think?" the dog's owner
asked. "We've got a chance of winning the whole thing, right?" "Well,"
replied Simon Cowell, "his delivery's all right, but his material's a
bit weak."
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 4 Nov 2009

Post Me Later
The Washington Post's Invitational asked readers to take any word from
the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter,
and supply a new definition. Here are some of the cleverrest winners:
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high up on walls. Sarchasm: The
gulf between the author of sarcastic wit, and the recipient who doesn't
get it. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Osteopornosis: A degenerate
disease. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and
it's, like, a serious bummer, man. Glibido: All talk and no action.
Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head.

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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JOKE OF THE DAY 3 Nov 2009

He's So Darn Mean That...

... He sends get-well cards to
hypochondriacs. ... You couldn't warm up to him if you were cremated
together. ... He's deaf, and never told his barber. ... He'd steal
a dead fly from a blind spider. ... He'd cry over your wounds just so
he could get salt in them! ... He has as much use for anyone living
as an undertaker. ... He applied for a job as a prison warden so he
could put tacks on the electric chair. ... If you kicked him in
the heart, you'd break your toe. ... The only thing he'll share with
you willingly is a communicable disease. ... He folds his newspaper
so the guy next to him on the bus can only read half the headline.
... He'd throw a drowning man both ends of the rope.
... He takes sparrows, dips them in peroxide, and sells them
as canaries. ... He knifes you in the back, and then has you arrested
for carrying a concealed weapon. ... He campaigned for a dry county,
got it passed, and then moved to Vegas! ... He told his children the
Easter Bunny got run over by a Volkswagen Rabbit. ... He was
engaged to a girl with a wooden leg, but he got mad and broke it off.
... He never hits a man when he's down -- he kicks him in the groin,
instead. ... He'd borrow your pot just to cook your goose! ...
Only gravediggers would enjoy working for him. ... He gave his wife
oysters and a rabbit's foot because she asked for pearls for her
birthday. ... He had three phones installed so that he could hang up
on more people.

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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/

JOKE OF THE DAY 2 Nov 2009

Foreign Phrases with a Twist

Folks were asked to take a well known
expression in a foreign language, change a single letter and provide a
definition for the new expression: Harlez-vous Francais?:
Can you drive a French motorcycle? Veni, Vidi, Visa:
I came, I saw, I shopped. Aloha Oy:
Love; greetings; farewell; and from such a pain you should never know
Haste Cuisine:
Fast French food Cogito Eggo Sum:
I think, therefore I am
Mazel Ton: Tons of luck
Veni, VIPi, Vici:
I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered Rigor Morris:
The cat is dead. Que Sera Serf:
Life is feudal Leroi est Mort. Jive Leroi:
The king is dead. No kidding Monage a Trois:
I am three years old Pro Bozo Publico:
Support your local clown Post Mortem:
Death styles of the rich and famous Respondez S'il Vois Plaid:
Honk if you're Scottish! Quip Pro Quo:
A fast retort Visa la France:
Don't leave your chateau without it! Carne Diem:

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/