JOKE OF THE DAY 27 Jul 2007

Some Caddy Remarks

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course!"

Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

----------

Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"

Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

----------

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"

Caddy: "Eventually.

----------

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown if I go in the lake to hit that ball?"

Caddy: "Doubt you can keep your head down that long?"

----------

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."

Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.

----------

Golfer: "How do you like my game?"

Caddy: "I like it a lot but, personally, I prefer golf."

----------

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of
a distraction.

Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

----------

Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?

Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day!"

----------

Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on ."

Caddy: "Technically, we're no longer on the actual golf course."

----------

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."

Caddy: "Well, it HAS been quite a while since we teed off, sir."

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JOKE OF THE DAY 26 Jul 2007

Accurate Definitions (From A to Z)

Apple: A fruit found in Eden; a label on Abbey Road; a company which
thrives on music-copyright infringement (Ouch!)

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early; or a guy who was Born to Run!

Classic: A book which people priase, but do not read.

Conference: The confusion of one person multiplied by the number of
people present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to h&#@ in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.

Etc.: An abbreviation employed to make others believe that you know more
than you actually do.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Lost: What used to happen to me often before I got a GPS in my car (or a
great television series on Fox.)

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Net: A good place to surf for funny pictures, videos, etc .. ;-)

Office: A location where you can relax after your strenuous home life;
or software that makes Gates happy and millions miserable!

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
when dead.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!!!

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water power.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 25 Jul 2007

My Ex Is FINALLY Gone!

You want to know how stupid my ex really was? (Note, most of these are
equal opportunity insults. If your ex is female instead of male, just
switch the pronoun!)

My Ex was so stupid....

... he took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

... he sent me a fax with a stamp on it!

... he misspelled I.Q.!

... he thought Boyz II Men was a day care center and Eartha Kitt was a
set of garden tools!

... under "education" on his job application, he put "Hooked On
Phonics."

... he tripped over a cordless phone!

... he spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said
"concentrate.

... at the bottom of the job application where it says "sign here," he
put "Sagittarius.

... he studied for a blood test.

... when he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he
moved!

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WORTH READING
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answers.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 24 Jul 2007

After a Terrible Accident

A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries -
"DOC, DOC...I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!!!

"Well of course you can't silly!", replies the Doc... "I've cut off both
of your arms."

<Other_Stuff>
Try out new website for Indian Railway information.
http://erail.in
and provide feedback @ feedback@erail.in
</Other_Stuff>
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WORTH READING
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answers.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 23 Jul 2007

A Old Snake Goes To See his Doctor.

A old snake goes to see his Doctor.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc
fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very
depressed.

Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a
water hose the past 2 years!"

<Other_Stuff>
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and provide feedback @ feedback@erail.in </Other_Stuff>
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
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from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

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18++
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