Thursday, June 11, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 12 Jun 2009

Twas the Day After Christmas
 
'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the
house,
Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head. Wrapping and ribbons just
covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
I went into the kitchen and started to clean. When out on the lawn
there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash. When what to my
wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck,
with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN." With a handful of bills,
he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name: "Now Visa, now Best
Buy, now Penny's and Sears
Here's Wal-Mart's and Target's and Macy's and Kohl's
To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall,
Now charge away--charge away--charge away all!" He whooped and he
whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster now, with just half a load. Then I heard him
exclaim
with great holiday cheer,
"Enjoy what you got...
you'll be paying all year!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
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JOKE OF THE DAY 11 Jun 2009

Understanding Resume Terms
 
This guide should help clear any confusion...
Bright:
Wears a lot of yellow and red - usually together.
Intelligent:
Got 3 gold stars for spelling in first grade.
Computer Literate:
Knows the difference between a mouse and a keyboard.
Excellent Communication Skills:
Knows everybody's personal business.
Detailed Oriented:
Will spend eight hours perfecting a two-minute job.
Prompt:
First one out the door at quitting time.
Friendly:
Watch out for attractive members of your staff.
Honest:
King of Gossip!
Dependable:
Can depend on them to be the last one there in the morning.
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Tuesday, June 09, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 10 Jun 2009

Obtainable Affirmations
 
~ I have the power to channel my imagination into
ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. ~ I assume full
responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's
fault. ~ I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself,
unless I want to stay employed. ~ In some cultures what I do would be
considered normal. ~ Having control over myself is almost as good as
having control over others. ~ My intuition nearly makes up for my
lack of self-judgment. ~ I honour my personality flaws for without them I would have no
personality at all. ~ As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in
touch with my inner sociopath. ~ I am grateful that I am not as
judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
~ I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn
from them.

------------------------------------------------------------------
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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @   
   http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/