JOKE OF THE DAY 16 Jun 2009

Expecting A Lot
The blonde had been married about a year when one day the she came
running up to her husband jumping for joy. Not knowing how to react,
the husband started jumping up and down along with her. "Why are we so
happy?" he asked. "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" she
said. "Great!" he said, "Tell me what you're so happy about." She
stopped jumping and was breathless from all the jumping up and down.
"I'm pregnant!" she gasped. The husband was ecstatic as they had been
trying for a while. He grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling
her how wonderful it was, and that he couldn't be happier. Then she
said "Oh, honey there's more." "What do you mean more?", he asked.
"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked
her how she knew. "It was easy" she said, "I went to the pharmacy and
bought the 2-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out
positive!"
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
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wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
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JOKE OF THE DAY 25 Jun 2009

Positive Test Results?

 

Joey walked into his dad's
study while his dad was working on the computer. "Dad," said Joey,
"Remember when you told me you'd give me twenty dollars if I passed my
math test?" Dad's ears perked up and he excitedly looked over towards
his son. "Well, I've got some great news!" exclaimed Joey. "Really?"
replied his dad. "Yes," said Joey, "I just saved you twenty bucks."

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WORTH READING
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question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 24 Jun 2009

Funny Bumper Stickers

 

 

~ Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently
talented fool. ~ Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who
don't. ~ I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. ~
A day without sunshine is like ... night. ~ On the other hand, you
have different fingers. ~ Despite the cost of living, have you noticed
how it remains so popular? ~ Change is inevitable, except from a
vending machine! ~ I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar
territory.

~Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. ~ You have the
right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used
against you. ~ I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without
sponges. ~ Honk if you love peace and quiet!

~ It is hard to understand
how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of
living ~ The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. ~ It
is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. ~ You can't have
everything, where would you put it? ~ Latest survey shows that 3 out
of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. ~ The things that
come to those who wait are usually the things left by those who got
there first. ~ A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for
doing well. ~ It was recently discovered
that research causes cancer in rats. ~ Everybody lies, but it doesn't
matter since nobody listens. ~ Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some just don't have film (or space on their SD Card!) ~ He who laughs
last, thinks slowest. ~ I started out with nothing, and I still have
most of it. ~ Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.

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WORTH READING
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JOKE OF THE DAY 23 Jun 2009

Characteristics of "The Company Car" ... ...
accelerates at a phenominal rate. ... has a much shorter braking
distance than the private car. ... can take speed humps at twice the
speed of private cars. ... The oil and tires never have to be checked!
... The floor is cunningly designed to double as an ashtray. ... It
does not need to be kept under shelter at night
. ... It can be driven up to 60 miles with the oil warning light
flashing. ... It needs cleaning less often than private cars. ...
The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads of bricks,
concrete slabs and other building material. ... Unusual and alarming
engine noises are easily eliminated by turning up the radio. ... It
needs no security system and may be left anywhere, unlocked and with the
keys in the ignition. ... It is especially sand and waterproof for
barbeques and fishing expeditions on remote beaches.

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leaders.

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WORTH READING
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question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 22 Jun 2009

Two or Four?

 

"Are there two pints in a quart
or four?" asked a customer at a bar. "There are two pints in a quart,"
confirmed the owner of the bar. The customer then moved back along the
bar, and soon the barmaid asked for his order. "Two pints please,
Miss, and they are on the house," said the customer. The barmaid
doubted that her boss would be so generous, so the fellow called out to
the owner at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't
you?" "That's right," barked the owner, "two pints!"
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leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
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question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
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