JOKE OF THE DAY 3 Jun 2005

A teacher was working with her pupils, trying to broaden their horizons
through sensory perception. One day, she brought in rolls of Lifesavers
of all flavors. "Children," she announced, passing out the Lifesavers,
"I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these and tell me what flavor
they are." The kids managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons
and mint, but when the teacher gave them the honey-flavored Lifesavers,
every one was stumped.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher "It's something your Daddy and
Mommy probably call each other all the time ."

Instantly one of the kids nearly gagged and hollered, "Spit'em out,
they're assholes!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
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JOKE OF THE DAY 2 Jun 2005

Mom was lecturing her daughter on the way to church service:
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Rose replied, "Because people are sleeping?"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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JOKE OF THE DAY 1 Jun 2005

A man, fond of practical jokes, decided late one night
to send his friend a collect telegram which read:
"I am perfectly well."

A week later, the joker received a heavy parcel...collect
...on which he had to pay considerable charges. Upon
opening it, he found a big block of concrete which had
this message:

"This is the weight your telegram lifted from my mind."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 31 May 2005

Twanging Away

My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a
display of country-style musical instruments.

After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a
shiny, one-stringed instrument I took to be a mouth harp. I put it
to my lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a
few notes on it.

After watching from a distance, my wife came up and whispered in my
ear. "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a
cheese slicer."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
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JOKE OF THE DAY 30 May 2005

Little Johnny breaks wind in the classroom again. This is not the first
time he has done this and his teacher gets really upset with him this
time and sends him out. He goes and sits outside the class but he can't
stop laughing.

The principle walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing. He says,
"Now, Johnny, what are you doing sitting out here laughing ?"

Little Johnny says, "I broke wind in class and Miss threw me out"

The principle says, "Quite rightly! So, why are you laughing ?"

Little Johnny says, "Cause those silly buggars are still sitting in
class with the result of my effort, and they put me outside in this
beautiful fresh air!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************