Thursday, October 29, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 30 Oct 2009

Johnson & Johnson
After trying a new shampoo for the first time, a guy fired off an
enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer. Several weeks
later he came home from work to find a large carton in the middle the
front hall. Inside were free samples of the many products the company
produced: soaps, detergents, toothpaste, and paper items. "Well, what
do you think?" asked his smiling wife. "I think," he replied, "the
next time I'm writing to Mercedes Benz!"
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
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be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 29 Oct 2009

Quarters Quest

On a busy Friday night at the Chicken Pluck Restaurant
where I'd recently started waiting tables, the owner suddenly emerged
from the kitchen and handed me money. "We're in trouble!" he said.
"We're out of quarters, and customers are waiting. Go next door and get
me $100 worth." I ran to the supermarket next door, but a cashier said
she wasn't allowed to give out that many quarters. Determined, I
sprinted to a convenience store two blocks away, but it was closed. At
a gas station farther down the road the clerk took pity and gave me ten
$10 rolls of quarters.

I returned to Chicken Pluck, twenty minutes after I'd left, and handed the
coin rolls to my boss.
"Where are the quarters?" he asked. "Right here," I said breathlessly.
"I meant chicken quarters!" exclaimed the boss.
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 28 Oct 2009

Razor Sharp Wit

One morning, while shaving, John was cursing and
swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, Vickie, who
was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she
called out. "My razor - it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly,
dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than
the linoleum that it cut yesterday?"
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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Monday, October 26, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 27 Oct 2009

Brushing Up on Your Etiquette

My 4-year-old son, Zachary, came
screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in
the toilet... So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and
came out with MY toothbrush... He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, "We better throw this one out too, 'cause it fell in the
toilet a few weeks ago."
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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Sunday, October 25, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 26 Oct 2009

Ten Funny Signs
At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
place." On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff." In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels." On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you're coming." In a restaurant
window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up." In a
veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" At the electric
company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't,
you will be." In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Funny Signs In a non-smoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
action." On a maternity room door:
"Push. Push. Push." Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak." On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." At a tire shop in
Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout." Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?" At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." On an electrician's
truck:
"Let us remove your shorts." Sign over a gynecologist's office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

Signs on Church Property
~ "No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace." ~ "Free
Trip to heaven. Details Inside!" ~ "Forbidden fruit creates many
jams." ~ "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins." ~
"Searching for a new look? Get your faith lift here!"
~ "Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!" ~
"People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before
you know how strong they are." ~ "God so loved the world that He did
not send a committee." ~ "Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas
rush!" ~ "When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all
right." ~ "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily." ~ "How will you
spend
eternity -- Smoking or Non-smoking?" ~ "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty
Lives." ~ "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin." ~
"If you're
headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns." ~ "If you don't
like the way you were born, try being born again." ~ "This is a ch _
_ ch. What is missing?" ----> (U R) ~ "In the dark? Follow the Son."
~ "Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."


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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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