Thursday, May 28, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 29 May 2009

You Just Might Be A Scrooge..
 
...if your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve
is gin, vodka and bourbon.
...if you turn on the lawn sprinklers on
Christmas Eve to keep carolers away.
...if you buy all of your
Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.
...if your favorite
version of "A Christmas Carol" stars Bob Packwood or Bill Clinton.
...if your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson.
...if you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts.
...if your prized Christmas
ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon.
...if your idea of
Christmas dinner is a six-pack of beer and a cheese log. ...if your
best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat. ...if your
favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by OJ Simpson. ...if your
favorite pasttime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string
of Christmas lights. And, finally - if your only holiday decoration is
a rotting pumpkin... you Just Might Be A Scrooge!
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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posted by Chirag at 9:55 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 28 May 2009

Stop the Madness

Next time you are in a car with a friend, and you pull up to a red
light, look at the guy in the car next to you. Roll down your window
really fast (like you want to talk to him), and when the guy rolls HIS
window down, look at him and yell: "Oh, did you fart, too?
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @   
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posted by Chirag at 11:36 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 27 May 2009

And Now, for $50,000...
 
Bob had finally made it to the last round of
the $50,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the
host MC that he desired a question on American History. The big night
arrived. Bob made his way onstage in front of the studio and TV
audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the best guest this
show had ever seen. The MC stepped up to the mike. "Bob, you have
chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you
correctly answer this question, you will walk away $50,000 dollars
richer. Are you ready?" Bob nodded with a cocky confidence -- the
crowd went nuts. He hadn't missed a question all week. "Bob, yours is
a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a
rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would
you like to take a stab at first?" Bob was becoming more noticeably
nervous. He couldn't believe it, but he was not sure, but American
History was his easiest subject, and he played it safe. "I'll try the
easier part first." The MC nodded approvingly. "Here we go Bob. I will
ask you the second half first, then the first half." The audience grew
silent with gross anticipation... "Bob, here is your question: And in
what year did it happen?"
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @   
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posted by Chirag at 9:58 PM 0 comments

Monday, May 25, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 26 May 2009

Duel Personalities
 
A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott
in June 1849. Nott was shot and Shott was not. In this case it is
better to be Shott than Nott! Some said that Nott was not shot. But
Shott says that he shot Nott. It may be that the shot Shott shot,
shot Nott, or it may be possible that the shot Shott shot, shot Shott
himself. We think, however, that the shot Shott shot, shot not Shott,
but Nott. Anyway it is hard to tell which was shot and which was not.

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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @   
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @   
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posted by Chirag at 8:38 PM 0 comments