JOKE OF THE DAY 25 Feb 2005

Homework Policy

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy:

Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time
should be budgeted in the following manner:

15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like
children.
8 minutes in the bathroom.
10 minutes getting a snack.
7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the
assignment.
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do
the assignment.


------------------------------------------------------------------
YOUR JOKE OF THE DAY, IS JUST A BLOG AWAY @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/
SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE FOR THIS MAILING LIST @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay

ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/





********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

JOKE OF THE DAY 24 Feb 2005

10 Ways To Lose Weight

1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner...as well as in the
morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it's nice to see
how much weight you've lost overnight.

2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.

3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case,
blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the earrings, these things
can weigh at least a pound.

4. Use cheap scales only (never the medical kind) because they are
always five pounds off...to your advantage, of course.

5. Always tinkle first.

6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.
(Waving them is optional but occasionally helps!)

7. Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in,
completely naked, of course.

8. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a
pound of hair (hopefully).

9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has
to weigh something, right?)

10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the
towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly
let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's worth it.
You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd stepped on
normally.

------------------------------------------------------------------
YOUR JOKE OF THE DAY, IS JUST A BLOG AWAY @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/
SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE FOR THIS MAILING LIST @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay

ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/





********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

JOKE OF THE DAY 23 Feb 2005

Oh Christmas Tree
------------------

There were two blondes who went deep into the woods searching
for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with
hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm
chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's
decorated or not!"

------------------------------------------------------------------
YOUR JOKE OF THE DAY, IS JUST A BLOG AWAY @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/
SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE FOR THIS MAILING LIST @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay

ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/





********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

JOKE OF THE DAY 22 Feb 2005

My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve
her irritation. When she returned home she informed him that she
had purchased ten new dresses.

"Ten!" he hollered, "What could any woman want with ten new
dresses??"

My mom calmly replied, "Ten new pairs of shoes."

------------------------------------------------------------------
YOUR JOKE OF THE DAY, IS JUST A BLOG AWAY @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/
SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE FOR THIS MAILING LIST @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay

ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/

********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************

JOKE OF THE DAY 21 Feb 2005

Charlie's Hole In One

Robert goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home three hours late. His wife asks him, "What took you so long?"

The guy says, "That was the worst game of golf I've ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Charlie hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack."

The guy's wife says, "That's terrible!"

The guy says, "I know. Then, for the rest of the game, it was hit the ball, drag Charlie, hit the ball, drag Charlie, hit the ball, drag Charlie..."

------------------------------------------------------------------
YOUR JOKE OF THE DAY, IS JUST A BLOG AWAY @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/
SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE FOR THIS MAILING LIST @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay

ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/





********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************
"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."
**********************************************************************