JOKE OF THE DAY 9 Sep 2005

A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, "What's the
problem, Carol? I hope it's not homework again."

"Well, uh, yes, it is." replied Carol. "I was stupid and made my
homework paper into a paper airplane."

"Carol, you're right, that wasn't a very bright thing to do," said
the teacher, "but this once I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand
it in."

"Oh, but that won't work," said Carol, looking even sadder. "You
see, the plane was hijacked."

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-------------
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JOKE OF THE DAY 8 Sep 2005

Background information:

1. Venezuela is a *very* Catholic.
2. Baked Potatoes sometimes explode
if you don't pierce the skins to let the steam escape.

An American couple met, and got married while working in Venezuela.

The wife taught her Venezuelan maid how to prepare baked potatoes. In
some families, people poke the uncooked potatoes with a fork, other
families cut an "X" in them. In this American couple family they cut an
"X" in them.

Anyway, one day the wife heard an explosion in the kitchen! She ran in
to see what was going on. The maid was hysterical, and there was baked
potatoe all over the oven.

"Senhora!" the maid cried. "I am so sorry, I knew how religious you
were, but this time I was in a hurry, and I didn't think God would
notice..."

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++
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JOKE OF THE DAY 7 Sep 2005

The Prince

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was
cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could
speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so
that
if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was
allowed
to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or
signlanguage.)

One day he met abeautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire
eyes,)
and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to
refrain
from speakingfor two whole years so that he could look at her and say
"my
darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he
loved her.

Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing
the
total number of silent years to 5).But at the end of these five years he
realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four
years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of ! silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.
Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in
that
beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap,
knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My
darling,I
love you! Will you marry me?" And the princess tucked a strand of golden
hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and
parting
her ruby lips, said:

.

.

scroll down......

.

.

.

.

......Well, guess what she said ...........

.

.

.

.

......come on, guess what could she have

.

.

said..............

.

.
.

.

.

"Pardon?"

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from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++
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JOKE OF THE DAY 6 Sep 2005

Did He Get The Job?
------------------------
Actual Fast Food Job Application

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food
establishment........

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an
offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens
and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to
a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would
be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing
since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF
YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

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from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
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JOKE OF THE DAY 5 Sep 2005

Two Brainless Friends

A friend of mine had a brilliant idea for saving disk space on her
computer...

She thought if she put all of her Microsoft Word documents into a
tiny font they'd take up less room...

When she told me this I was with another friend. Sad to say, she
thought it was a good idea too!

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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

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