Joke of The Day

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 19 Jul 2007

Drugs or Booze

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City
subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.

Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.

Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of
dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.

The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other
passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.

"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank. "You know he's only
going to use it on drugs or booze!!!"

Matt replies, "What...and we weren't?"

<Other_Stuff>
Try out new website for Indian Railway information.
http://erail.in
and provide feedback @ feedback@erail.in
</Other_Stuff>

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @

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JOKE OF THE DAY 18 Jul 2007

That's My Beer
A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They proceed
to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their
creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints,and were stuck
in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The Scotsman
fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if
nothing had happened. The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink,
held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT
IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @

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JOKE OF THE DAY 17 Jul 2007

The 5 Questions Most Feared by Men

The 5 questions most feared by men are: 1...What are you thinking about?
2...Do you love me? 3...Do I look fat? 4...Do you think she is prettier
than me? 5...What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed
to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly(i.e.,
tells the truth).

As a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with
possible Responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been
pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,
thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to
have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true
answer,which most likely is one of the following: a...Baseball.
b...Football. c...How fat you are. d...How much prettier she is than
you. e...How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who
once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be
talking to you!"

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is
in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include: a...Oh Yeah,
crap loads. b...Would it make you feel better if I said yes? c...That
depends on what you mean by love. d...Does it matter? e...Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect
answers are: a...Compared to what? b...I wouldn't call you fat, but
you're not exactly thin. c...A little extra weight looks good on you.
d...I've seen fatter. e...Could you repeat the question? I was just
thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Incorrect responses include:

a...Yes, but you have a better personality. b...Not prettier, but
definitely thinner. c...Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d...Define pretty. e...Could you repeat the question? I was just
thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a
Corvette and a Boat"). WARNING: No matter how you answer this, be
prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the
these lines:

WOMAN: Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why
not-don't you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why
wouldn't you remarry? MAN: Okay, I'd get married again. WOMAN: You
would? (with a hurtful look on her face) WOMAN: Would you sleep with her
in our bed? MAN: Where else would we sleep? WOMAN: Would you put away my
pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? MAN: That would seem
like the proper thing to do. WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf
clubs? MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed WOMAN: - - - silence -
- - MAN: Oh ( expletive deleted).

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @

Conexant E-mail Firewall (Conexant.Com) made the following annotations---------------------------------------------------------------------********************** Legal Disclaimer ****************************

"This email may contain confidential and privileged material for the sole use of the intended recipient. Any unauthorized review, use or distribution by others is strictly prohibited. If you have received the message in error, please advise the sender by reply email and delete the message. Thank you."

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JOKE OF THE DAY 16 Jul 2007

Shaadi.com Ads

These are actual ads on a matrimony site. All these words are from
their heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Hello To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don't have
female,
If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my home. I am not a good
education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome
to my heart...when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u
letter.. Thanks yours Regards Shekhar ~*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state
she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Homework?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she
may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the
entire life can run smoothly. thank you

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have
one brother and one sister. she should be educated.

(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I
love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I
am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i
love
myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on
........hold
my hand forever !!!

(dilwale dulhaniya effect)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i am simple boy.I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now
i am looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife should be as 'Shivani' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr
as in KSBKBT......

(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too
much,ain't he?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house
but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast

(by not wearing her jeans? ...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL
MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE
1.THEY
MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD
NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone
bride and she must think of the future life if she is too like this
she
would be called the woman of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this boy wants)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love
thepatner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok" )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1
CAR
AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK

(this one is one of my Fav)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and Father&mother
sister complity marred

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
'completely'?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent.
i
am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at
kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my name is muhamad and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes
pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! J )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she
havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey.
IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are
beautiful.
but
iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a
good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
bye bye.

(uttama purushan)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i
divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the good
minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other
caste
accepted ...

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service

(Zebra..???)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm looking out for who lives in bombay , girl simple who trust me lot
should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be married on jan-2006. working woman perferable

(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a
bride.
I wish him best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get
one
soon.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure.
because girl is the maharani.

(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

Shared by Anupma
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @