Thursday, July 12, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 13 July 2007

First-Class Chick
A beautiful blonde gets on an airplane going to Los Angeles and sits in
First Class. The flight attendant tells her that her ticket is for a
coach seat and would she please go to her proper seat. The blonde says;
"I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to Los Angeles first class."

"I'm sorry," says the flight attendant "but your ticket is for coach and
this seat was paid for by someone else." At which the blonde says; "I'm
blonde and beautiful and I'm going to Los Angeles first class."

The flight attendant goes to the pilot with the problem. The pilot walks
up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and
goes back to her coach seat. The flight attendant asks the pilot what
she said to the blonde.

"It's simple," says the female pilot "I told her that first class wasn't
going to Los Angeles."


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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 12 Jul 2007

I'm much too young to die!

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on
a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven.

St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that
his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young
to die! I'm only 35!"

St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the
pearly gates, and agreed to check on his case.

After investigating, he told the attorney, "I'm afraid that there is no
mistake my son...

We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed
to your clients, and according to that, you're at least 108 years old!"


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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++
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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 11 July 2007

Fitness Philosophy

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's
97 now & we don't know where the hell she is!

The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy
breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a
pound. Apparently you have to show up?

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm
doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would
have put them further up our body.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small
country.

I don't jog... it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.


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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

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18++
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Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
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Monday, July 09, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 10 July 2007

Male/Female Definitions

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The
strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one's self
emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. female: The open sharing of
thoughts and feelings with one's partner. male: Scratching out a note
before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n female: The body part that every item of clothing
manufactured makes look bigger." male: what you slap when someone's
scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n female: A desire to get married and raise a
family. male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. female: A good movie, concert, play
or book. male: Anything that can be done while drinking

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. female: An embarrassing by-product of
digestion. male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and
male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. female: The greatest expression of
intimacy a couple can achieve. male: Call it whatever you want just as
long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n female: A device for changing from
one TV channel to another. male: A device for scanning through all 75
channels every 2&1/2 min.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

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18++
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Sunday, July 08, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 9 July 2007

On the Other Side

A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river. The brunette
wants to get across.

She yells across to the blonde, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?"

The blonde shakes her head and yells back - "People like you really piss
me off. You ARE on the other side!"


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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone.
But they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen
gems from the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings
from great leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @

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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

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