Thursday, August 04, 2005

JOKE OF THE DAY 5 Aug 2005

Dinosaur Bones

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are
marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the blonde
guard, 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?'

The guard replies, 'They are 3 million,
four years, and six months old.'

'That's an awfully exact number,' says the
tourist. 'How do you know their age so precisely?'

The guard answers, 'Well, the dinosaur bones
were three million years old when I started
working here, and that was four and a half
years ago!'

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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

JOKE OF THE DAY 4 Aug 2005

Juan the Smuggler

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has
two large bags over his shoulders. A guard stops him and says,
"What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike."

The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them
out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan
overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that
there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases
Juan, puts the sand into new bags, lifts them onto the man's
shoulders and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What
have you got?"

"Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the
bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan,
and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events repeats every day for three years. Then
one day, Juan doesn't show up. The guard meets up with him in
a cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, buddy," the guard says, "I know you're smuggling something.
It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about. I can't sleep.
Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

"Bicycles," Juan says.

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WORTH READING
-------------
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of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

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18++
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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

JOKE OF THE DAY 3 Aug 2005


Three Stores

A commercial property owner has three shops in a row, all for
rent. The first prospective lessee shows up, and says he wants
to rent the shop on the left.

The owner says, "Fine, what kind of shop do you have?" The guy
says, "A men's wear shop." The owner tells him he gets free
signage and asks what he wants on the sign. "Men's Wear," says
the man.

A second guy comes along and wants to rent the right hand shop.
When asked he says he wants "Men's Wear" on his sign. The owner
tells him that the left hand shop will be the same. "No problem,"
says the man.

Finally a third man comes along to rent the middle shop. The
owner is most concerned because this guy also has a men's wear
shop. Rather wearily the owner asks him what he wants on his
sign. The guy replies: "Entrance."

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WORTH READING
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answers.

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18++
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Monday, August 01, 2005

JOKE OF THE DAY 2 Aug 2005

Working as a secretary at an airport, my sister had an office adjacent
to the
room where security temporarily holds suspects.
One day security officers were questioning a man when they were
suddenly
called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her
colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few
minutes,
the door opened and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one
of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't you come out
until
you're told!"
The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security
people returned, the women reported what had happened.
Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one very
frightened telephone repairman.

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WORTH READING
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answers.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 1 Aug 2005


A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they
did was to put the cat out.

The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house,
the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to
chase it out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty,
explained to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say
goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said,
"Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the
bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to
come out!"

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words
of wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your
chance to question the priorities of existence and also to get their
answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
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Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They
could be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX.
Statutory Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it,
subscribe at your own risk.

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