Thursday, November 26, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 27 Nov 2009

New Biz Terminology Here are some new terms to add to your vocabulary
from the 90s office environment.

~ BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a
group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who
was responsible. ~ PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops
something loudly in a"cube farm" (an office full of cubicles) and
everyone's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. ~
TOURISTS - People who take training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were
just tourists." ~ TREEWARE - Printed computer software/hardware
documentation. ~ CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used among microserfs to
describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is
within earshot is a serious CLM. (Also known as CEB - Career Ending
Behavior) ~ OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (See CLM) Click here
for Stupid Human Trick <http://www.irove.com/videos/144/0144.html> <-
PG-13 ~ ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning
just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they
were designed to solve. ~ DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by
your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the engineer in the
job-from-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old
man revised the specs for the fourth time this week." ~ SEAGULL
MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops on
everything, and then leaves. ~ SALMON WEEK - The experience of
spending an entire week swimming upstream only to die, and someone else
get the benefit. ~ 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide
Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document
could not be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man." ~
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking an electronic device
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 25 Nov 2009

Some Food For Thought

~ If you're living on the edge, make sure you're
wearing your seat belt! ~ The mind is like a parachute; it works much
better when it's open! ~ Kids in the back seat cause accidents;
accidents in the back seat cause kids! ~ There are two kinds of
pedestrians...the quick and those struck by vehicles. ~ I considered
converting to atheism but decided there weren't enough holidays. ~ An
unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. ~ Never take life
seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway. ~ A closed mouth gathers no
feet! ~ Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die. ~ It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere! ~
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought
to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
~ Someday we'll look back on all this... and plow into a
parked car. ~ Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some
days you're the statue. ~ The only difference between a rut and a
grave is the depth. ~ Failure is not getting knocked down... It's not
getting back up! ~ I can please only one person per day. Today is not
your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. ~ Good
news is just life's way of keeping you off balance. ~ Stupidity got
us into this mess - so why can't it get us out? ~ People will accept
your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin
said it first. ~ I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an
interesting path. ~ Indecision is the key to flexibility. ~ In
just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. ~ I always wanted to be a
procrastinator, never got around to it. ~ I plan on living forever.
So far, so good!
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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Or simply go Blogging @
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Monday, November 23, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 24 Nov 2009

Totally Wacky Newspaper Headlines

~ Grandmother of eight makes hole in
one ~ Two convicts evade noose, jury hung ~ Stiff opposition
expected to casketless funeral plan! ~ Deaf mute gets new hearing in
killing ~ Police begin campaign
to run down jaywalkers ~ William Kelly was Fed secretary ~ House
passes gas tax onto senate ~ Milk drinkers are turning to powder
~ Safety experts say school bus passengers should
be belted ~ Quarter of a million Chinese live on water! ~ Iraqi head
seeks arms ~ Farmer Bill Dies in House

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ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::

QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/

WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/

18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/