JOKE OF THE DAY 6 Mar 2009

The Triple-Crown Wannabe

 

After dismounting Big Brown at the Belmont Stakes in June,
the horse's owner approached the jockey and said, "Kent, could you not
have raced faster?" "Sure, I could have," replied the diminutive
jockey, "but the rules dictate that I stay on the horse."
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
----
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be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
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JOKE OF THE DAY 5 Mar 2009

Preacher and Cabbie

 

After a preacher died and went to heaven, he
noticed that a New York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than
he. I don't understand, he complained to Saint Peter. I devoted my
entire life to my congregation. Our policy here in Heaven is to
reward results, Saint Peter explained. Now, was your congregation well
attuned to you whenever you gave a sermon? Well, the minister had to
admit, some in the congregation fell asleep from time to time.
Exactly, said Saint Peter. And when people rode in this man's taxi, they
not only stayed awake, they prayed nonstop.
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
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JOKE OF THE DAY 4 Mar 2009

You Know It's Time to Diet When...

 

~ You dance and it makes the band
skip. ~ You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor
gives you 22 more years to live. ~ You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.
~ You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts. ~ Your
driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side." ~ You ran
away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your
picture. ~ You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your
mouth. ~ You could sell shade. ~ Your blood type is Ragu. ~ You
need an appointment to attend an 'open house'.
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 3 Mar 2009

Mandatory Attendance

 

Backin the day, it was required at my alma mater that, in order for a
student to receive credit for a particular course, a card listing
his/her courses had to be signed by the professor. It was policy that
students attend their courses, but depending on the size of the class,
it was often quite possible to receive credit, even after not attending
the class regularly. Not so, with one particular Physics professor. If
Professor Knitwiddy didn't recognize you, you would have to repeat the
course. On one occasion, a student handed his card Professor
Knitwiddy to be signed... The professor looked at the name, then at
the student, and said, "I've never seen you in my class," and handed
back the card. Being a science student, the young man thought
quickly, and proceeded to the end of the line. When he was at the front
again, he handed his card to Professor Knitwiddy. The prof looked at
the name, then at the student, and said, "You look familiar. OK," and
signed the card.
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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JOKE OF THE DAY 2 Mar 2009

Elementary School Excuses

 

"Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not
bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school
was." "Ronnie would not finish his work last night. He said his brain
was too tired of spelling." "Eric hurt his knee in a karate
tournament over the weekend. He won his age group, but was in too much
pain to do his math assignment."

Amy did not do her
homework last night because we went out to a party and did not get home
until late. If she is tired, please let her sleep during recess time."
"Henry stayed home because he had a stomach ache from eating too much
frosting." "It was my fault Mike did not do his math homework last
night. His pencil broke and we do not have a pencil sharpener at home."

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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
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Or simply Blog it @   
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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
    http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @   
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

Join the 18++ mailing list @
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