JOKE OF THE DAY 26 Oct 2009

Ten Funny Signs
At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
place." On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff." In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels." On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you're coming." In a restaurant
window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up." In a
veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" At the electric
company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't,
you will be." In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Funny Signs In a non-smoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
action." On a maternity room door:
"Push. Push. Push." Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak." On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." At a tire shop in
Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout." Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?" At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." On an electrician's
truck:
"Let us remove your shorts." Sign over a gynecologist's office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

Signs on Church Property
~ "No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace." ~ "Free
Trip to heaven. Details Inside!" ~ "Forbidden fruit creates many
jams." ~ "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins." ~
"Searching for a new look? Get your faith lift here!"
~ "Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!" ~
"People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before
you know how strong they are." ~ "God so loved the world that He did
not send a committee." ~ "Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas
rush!" ~ "When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all
right." ~ "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily." ~ "How will you
spend
eternity -- Smoking or Non-smoking?" ~ "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty
Lives." ~ "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin." ~
"If you're
headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns." ~ "If you don't
like the way you were born, try being born again." ~ "This is a ch _
_ ch. What is missing?" ----> (U R) ~ "In the dark? Follow the Son."
~ "Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."

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