JOKE OF THE DAY 24 Feb 2005

10 Ways To Lose Weight

1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner...as well as in the
morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it's nice to see
how much weight you've lost overnight.

2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.

3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case,
blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the earrings, these things
can weigh at least a pound.

4. Use cheap scales only (never the medical kind) because they are
always five pounds off...to your advantage, of course.

5. Always tinkle first.

6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.
(Waving them is optional but occasionally helps!)

7. Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in,
completely naked, of course.

8. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a
pound of hair (hopefully).

9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has
to weigh something, right?)

10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the
towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly
let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's worth it.
You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd stepped on
normally.

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