Monday, June 29, 2009

JOKE OF THE DAY 30 Jun 2009

From The Women's Dictionary Argument (ar*gyou*ment)
n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized
it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes,
diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he,
"made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Cantaloupe
(kant*e*lope) n
Gotta get married in a church. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of
peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the
store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to
duplicate again. See "Magician."
 
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n
Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out
anytime soon. Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your
hand and say "focus,...breath...push..." Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his
collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...! Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After
children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide. Patience
(pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See
also "tranquilizers." Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try
to remove it. Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and
romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
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QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.

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WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.

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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.

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