JOKE OF THE DAY 7 Apr 2009
How To Recondition Your Body For a Toxic Diet
~ Eat as much as you
possibly can at one sitting. This conditions the muscles that support
the stomach to expand, accommodating an increased volume of food. ~
Slowly begin to reintroduce harmful foods. Suggestions are potato chips,
pizza with extra cheese, white bread, milk, coffee or coke, milk shakes
from edible oil products, fried chicken, french fries deep fried in beef
fat, eggs from chemically-raised chickens, steak with barbecue sauce and
a small portion of overcooked vegetables. Throw in a couple of chocolate
bars to insure an optimum toxin level. ~ Swallow food whole.
Use butter as a lubricant.
Deep fried foods will require less chewing. ~ Eat very few raw fruits
and vegetables. If you must eat vegetables, make sure the life has been
cooked out of them. The best fruits are canned and preserved in sugar
syrup. ~ Give your juice machine away. Drink bottled or canned juices
with vegetable oils. Canned vegetable juice is fine because all the
enzymes have been destroyed through pasteurization. ~ My stomach IS
flat! ~ Avoid fiber at all cost. If forced to eat whole wheat flour, pick the
bits of bran from the bread. This will allow the food to pass more
slowly through the intestines so the body may absorb optimal toxic
chemicals. ~ Do not exercise. Exercise oxygenates the cells and
triggers the lymphatic system that cleans the body. Try to remain in an
inactive horizontal position. ~ Snack regularly during the night so
as to curb the body's natural tendencies to detoxify during sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------------
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They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.
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WORTH READING
-------------
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wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
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18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.
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possibly can at one sitting. This conditions the muscles that support
the stomach to expand, accommodating an increased volume of food. ~
Slowly begin to reintroduce harmful foods. Suggestions are potato chips,
pizza with extra cheese, white bread, milk, coffee or coke, milk shakes
from edible oil products, fried chicken, french fries deep fried in beef
fat, eggs from chemically-raised chickens, steak with barbecue sauce and
a small portion of overcooked vegetables. Throw in a couple of chocolate
bars to insure an optimum toxin level. ~ Swallow food whole.
Use butter as a lubricant.
Deep fried foods will require less chewing. ~ Eat very few raw fruits
and vegetables. If you must eat vegetables, make sure the life has been
cooked out of them. The best fruits are canned and preserved in sugar
syrup. ~ Give your juice machine away. Drink bottled or canned juices
with vegetable oils. Canned vegetable juice is fine because all the
enzymes have been destroyed through pasteurization. ~ My stomach IS
flat! ~ Avoid fiber at all cost. If forced to eat whole wheat flour, pick the
bits of bran from the bread. This will allow the food to pass more
slowly through the intestines so the body may absorb optimal toxic
chemicals. ~ Do not exercise. Exercise oxygenates the cells and
triggers the lymphatic system that cleans the body. Try to remain in an
inactive horizontal position. ~ Snack regularly during the night so
as to curb the body's natural tendencies to detoxify during sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------------
YOUR JOKE OF THE DAY, IS JUST A BLOG AWAY @
http://joketimefolks.blogspot.com/
SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE FOR THIS MAILING LIST @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/JokeOfTheDay
ALSO PLAYING AT A MAILING LIST NEAR YOU ::
QUOTATION OF THE DAY
--------------------
They inspire, they motivate and at times they tickle your funny bone. But
they never miss to touch your heart. Your daily supply of chosen gems from
the world of literature, ancient proverbs, poetry and sayings from great
leaders.
Join the Quote A Day mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/QuotationOfTheDay
Or simply Blog it @
http://quotationoftheday.blogspot.com/
WORTH READING
-------------
Things they do not teach you at college! Life's puzzle unfolded. Words of
wisdom that motivate you to introspect and reflect. Here's your chance to
question the priorities of existence and also to get their answers.
Join the Worth Reading mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/WorthReading
Or simply go Blogging @
http://readingtimefolks.blogspot.com/
18++
----
Indulge your dirty mind with some outright hilarious adult jokes. They could
be expletive or subtle but they are definitely rated - XXX. Statutory
Warning - 18++ may be injurious if your mommy sees it, subscribe at your own
risk.
Join the 18++ mailing list @
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/18PlusPlus
Or simply go Blogging @
http://18plusplus.blogspot.com/
posted by Chirag at 8:50 PM
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