JOKE OF THE DAY 1 May 2009

Uproarious Answering Machine Messages

 

~ Said in a soft FM-style
voice, "Next on Public Radio, we'll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak.
This is the Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 72." ~ "Finally get
an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press Record
button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it's not
working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does......" ~ "My
house, the final frontier. These are the messages of my answering
machine. Its five-year mission: to seek out your name and your telephone
number. To boldly inform you to wait for the tone." ~ Hi, Douglas's
answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very
slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets
on my face here." ~
~ "Prepare for testing of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to
test: 5...4...3...2...1...." ~ "C'mon....you can do it....just a
little one. That's the way.... just a little beep, just a little one.
C'mon....good boy....here we go....like this -- beeeeep, just a little
one, beeeeeeeep, c'mon....You can do it!" ~ "This is not an answering
machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the
tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where
I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
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