JOKE OF THE DAY 13 Aug 2009

Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler:

 

~ On a trip to Canada, your travel agent should not charge you for an
interpreter. ~ Be suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean
cruise includes the phrase "Free Ammo." ~ Legitimate travel agents do
not dress in foreign military uniforms. ~ Consider carefully before
visiting a country where the license plate motto is Die American Pig.
~ There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if
you have experience in jungle warfare. ~ If you find yourself in Iran,
don't wear a t-shirt with the slogan "Salman Rushdie Lives!"  ~ While visiting the
Vatican, do not refer to St. Peter as "Saints Pete and Repeat." ~ When
visiting Turkey, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of
powdered sugar to their grandmother in New York City. ~ Do not board a
cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars!

 

New York City Traveler's Tips ~ The city does not
employ so-called "wallet inspectors." ~ Remember: regular hot dogs do
not have fingernails embedded in them! ~ Yelling at cabdrivers in
English wastes your time and theirs. ~ John Gotti's descendants always
have the right of way. ~ Bring plenty of extra cash to pay for parking
tickets you will receive for parking legally (this is a new
revenue-generating plan instituted by Mayor Bloomberg to close the
budget gap.) ~ Avoid paperwork for your next of kin by keeping dental
records on you at all times. ~ Sit at least TWO barstools away from
Plaxico Burress!!
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