JOKE OF THE DAY 16 July 2009

MODERN PHILOSOPHIES OF THE CYNIC

 

- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. -
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. -
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. -
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. -
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. - He who
hesitates is probably right. - Never do card tricks for the group you
play poker with. - No one is listening until you make a mistake. -
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. - The
colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be pressed
against it. - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the
softness of the bread. - To steal ideas from one person is
plagiarism; to steal from many is research. - To succeed in politics,
it is often necessary to rise above your principles. - Two wrongs are
only the beginning. - Work is accomplished
by those employees who are still striving to reach their level of
incompetence. - You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive. (The corollary is: You never learn to pray until your kids learn
to drive!) - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no
lifeguard.

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