Tuesday, September 11, 2007

JOKE OF THE DAY 12 Sep 2007

Andy Rooney Quotes

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I am in shape. Round's a shape!

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and
anyone going faster is a maniac.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

Future historians will be able to study at the Gerald Ford Library; the
Jimmy Carter Library; the Ronald Reagan Library and the Bill Clinton
Adult Bookstore.


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1 Comments:

Blogger Dana Friedman said...

The "everyone driving slower..everyone driving faster.." is George Carlin, not Andy Rooney :). Andy's not quite that perceptive. To paraphrase Robin Williams..Andy Rooney's more likely to say/ask "Did ya ever wonder why they call it 'beef'?"

September 12, 2007 at 9:50 AM  

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