JOKE OF THE DAY 23 Mar 2005

A Dozen Easy-To-Keep New Year's Resolutions

1. Gain weight.

2. Stop exercising.

3. Read less.

4. Watch more TV.

5. Procrastinate more.

6. Stop bringing lunch from home.

7. Get in a whole NEW rut.

8. Spend summer vacation in Cyberspace.

9. Don't eat cloned meat.

10. Get further in debt.

11. Don't believe politicians.

12. Never make New Year's resolutions again.

Ten More Easy-to-Attain New Year's Resolutions

1. Mope about faults.

2. Break at least one traffic law.

3. Get more toys.

4. Wait around for opportunity to magically arise.

5. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 10,000 feet.

6. Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.

7. Associate with even worse business clients.

8. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.

9. Create loose ends.

10. Focus on the faults of others.
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