Joke of The Day

Dear Third Grade Diary

Hi, I'm in third grade but it's not easy, it's a jungle gym out there.

It's not school I mind, it's the principal of the thing.

My teacher is tough. In class we have to answer "Yes Sir" and "No
Sir", and my teacher is a woman.

She's cross-eyed too, can't control her pupils.

In English she told us we couldn't use 2 words, one was cool and the
other was lousy. I said "Cool, tell us the lousy one first".

In science, she asked "what would happen if one of the stars in
Orion's belt went out?" I told her his pants would fall down.

She asked "Why do astronauts wear space suits?" I said "To cover
their space underwear".

In geography she asked us to name 2 cities in Kentucky. I said "O.K.,
I'll name one Waldo and the other Heathcliff".

And I don't like math at all, there's just too many problems.

We eat in the cafeteria. For lunch yesterday we had Roast Beef,
bread and butter. The roast beef was so tough it challenged me to a
fight after school. The bread was so stale I took it to show and tell
in history class. I'd tell you about the butter but I don't want to
spread it around.

They gave us animal crackers for dessert. On the outside of the box
it said "Do not eat if seal is broken". Of course ... (these are
third grade jokes, try to keep up)

After lunch we had a test. I used to hate taking tests. The teacher
told us to treat them as a game. Now I hate games.

I did get a 100 the other day, 50 in math and 50 in spelling.

My teacher is so forgetful she gave us the same test 3 weeks in a
row. If she does that one more time I might pass it.

My teacher knows all the answers! Of course she does -- she makes up
all the questions.

But I do better than my best friend, Mike, he made the P.T.A.'s Most
Wanted list.

Mike's the biggest trouble maker in school. And his parent's never
thought he'd amount to anything!

When I get home from school, it takes me about an hour to do my
homework, 2 hours if my father helps.

I was having trouble in English. My Dad bought me a cheap dictionary
but I couldn't find the words to thank him.

My dad bought me a thesaurus too. I thought that was very nice,
pleasurable, agreeable for him to do so.

I was doing geography homework and I asked him where I would find the
Catskills. He said "I don't know, your mother puts everything away!"

When my father saw my report card, he said I was just like Abraham
Lincoln, I went down in history.

Enjoy
Chirag
:c )

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